


With Enemies Like These

by Hekmugi



Category: Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart (Cartoon)
Genre: Fluff, Frenemies, Gen, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:21:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22976059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hekmugi/pseuds/Hekmugi
Summary: Keep your friends close. Your Enemies closer.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	With Enemies Like These

**Author's Note:**

> In a departure from recent longer works, we're going to knock out a couple one-offs with (mostly) light-hearted themes. The first of which involves the Sky Pirates and our heroes having a special confrontation in the dump.

“Boss, we got incomin’ at 12-o’-clock!” Hosstrich called out.

“Wh- already?! How are they getting so fast?” Orangusnake shouted, drawing his battleaxe. "Ratarang, Ramaraffe! Defensive position alpha-36!”

Ratarang poked his head out of a nearby garbage pile, scratching his head. “I-is that the one where we, like, do the diamond thing or-”

  
“ALPHA-THIRTY-SIX! WE JUST WENT OVER THIS!”

“Yeah but like, I think I passed out from the whole malnutrition thing,” the rat nibbled on the not-yet-molded half of a cracker, “and speakin’ of passin’ out, I ain’t feelin’ too hot so I think I might just sit this one out.”

“Ratarang, you traitorous…” the leader brought a finger to his chin, “uh, Rat! If you don’t get over here right now I’ll-”   
  
“Nah you got this, boss! I believes in ‘ya!” Ratarang called out, already burrowing back into the pile.

Orangusnake suppressed his rising rage. “Ramaraffe! Get out here!”

He tapped his foot impatiently, scanning the area as the aerocycle’s outline became apparent in the distance.

“...Ramaraffe? C’mon, this is really starting to cheese me off.”

Glancing to his side, Orangusnake noticed the shine of metal on top of a trash mound. The unconscious body of his subordinate laid sprawled out among the trash she had been scouring through.

Hosstrich put his hands to his vest. “Now, I don’t wanna be makin’ no assumptions, boss, but I don’t reckon we’re at our full potential today.”

Orangusnake waved his arm dismissively. “It’s fine, it’s fine. it’s cool, I got this, it’s fine!”

Hosstrich gave his boss an inquisitive look.

“I said it’s fine!”

“You sure we shouldn’t just ask ‘em to leave us be?”

Orangusnake could make out the flapping of the hero’s cape in the wind, now only a couple hundred meters away.

“Never! The day I lose my honor to that weirdo is the day I give up being a Sky Pirate!”

“Well, we ain’t been airborne in quite a while now, if I do recall correctly, and we been doin’ a lot more dumpster divin’ than piratin’ innaround that same time period.”

Orangusnake brandished his battleaxe at his side. “Silence! I don’t need any more insubordination today!”

“I’m just tired ‘a gettin’ beat up is all…” Hosstrich said, crossing his arms.

“Well then fight harder!”

  
  
A familiar blue bat attempted to intervene, fluttering behind the Ostrich.

“Um, guys? Excuse me-”

“Well that’s all fine ‘n dandy for you to say,  _ Coby _ ! You’re bein’  _ literally _ carried the whole way!” Hosstrich shot.

Orangusnake let out a long, high-pitched gasp. “You take that back right now!”

  
  
“Guys!” Adorabat shouted.

“Why don’t you come down here ‘n make me, string bean?” Hosstrich shouted, pointing at the cobra.

Orangusnake marched forwards, fists clenching. Hosstrich grasped the ridge of his hat, bringing it low over his eyes.

The villains barred their teeth, coming within centimeters of one another as their eyes met, visions clouded in red mist.

“You…” Orangusnake growled.

“Big ‘ol…”

“Cocky-"

“Tyrannical-”

“JERK!” Orangusnake shouted, giving Hosstrich a shove.

He almost lost his footing, but managed to plant his back foot on the ground. Steadying himself, he jumped forward and slapped the Cobra across the face.

“It’s on!”

The pair began a duel of opened palms, slapping at one another and shouting. Adorabat watched the events unfolding, at a loss for what to do. She looked back to her companions, Mao Mao and Badgerclops making their way to the scene of the brawl.

“Woah,” Badgerclops remarked, “Did you get ‘em to fight each other, Adorabat?”

“Impressive.” Mao Mao remarked.

“No,” Adorabat shook her head, “they started calling each other names around the time I showed up. They wouldn’t even listen to me.”

“Huh,” Mao Mao said, putting a gloved paw to his chin, “well that’s no fun.”

The sounds of the villains’ slap fight was cut short by the scraping of metal on metal, the atmosphere disturbed by the power of the hero’s legendary blade.

“Hey, you two!” Mao Mao shouted, pointing at them. “What the heck are you doing?”

The villains, in the middle of rolling over top of one another, halted their assault.

“Uh… nothing! What are you doing here?” Orangusnake yelled.

“Get off me!” Hosstrich grumbled, kicking his boss of him in a huff.

Orangusnake fell backwards, hitting the ground with a thump as Hosstrich righted himself. Dusting himself off, the ostrich walked towards the trio.

“I hope y’all don’t mind it too much but I reckon we really ain’t a hundred percent on the whole fightin’ business today.”

Mao Mao scoffed. “Not up to fighting? You think you get to choose when to get brought to justice?” He threw his head back in laughter. 

“Now, now, hear me out, Sheriff!” Hosstrich said, looking concerned. “We ain’t even got to eat nothin’ in like three days no-”

Orangusnake brushed the Ostrich aside, pointing his battleaxe forward. “We’re fine! You want a fight, you got one! Face my wrath, Mao Mao!”

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” Mao Mao shouted, holding his sword out. “Badgerclops, Adorabat, take care of Boss Hosstrich. I’ve got Orangusnake. And,” -Mao Mao looked around- “...where’s the other two?”

“Ayy, I found an old pastry in here!” Ratarang said, poking his head out of the trash with half of a pastry in his hand. The bread had long since hardened to stone and the filling was little more than crystallized sugar on rotted fruit paste.

“Dude, you  _ can’t _ eat that.” Badgerclops said, zapping it into dust with his blaster.

Ratarang looked towards the trio with apprehension. “Hey, what gives?! That was my lunch!”

Badgerclops scoffed. “Maybe your last lunch, man. You’re gonna get wicked sick eating literal garbage food.”

“Eh, I’ve eaten worse.”

“Hey! Stop ignoring me!” Orangusnake shouted, running towards Mao Mao with his axe held out. “We’re fighting, remember?!”

“Hold up,” -Mao Mao batted the snake in the chest with the broad side of his blade- “Have you all seriously not eaten in three days?”

“I don’t have to” -Orangusnake felt his stomach as a loud, ragged growl erupted- “answer that!”

Mao Mao lowered his eyes. “Dude, really?”

“What do you care? You keep getting in the way of my plans anyway. Maybe we’d be able to eat if you didn’t blow up our ship every week, ever think about that?”

“When you put the kingdom in danger, it’s my job to make sure nobody gets hurt. You have nobody to blame but yourself for that.” Mao Mao sheathed his sword, draping his cape over himself. “That being said, if you’re starving then we can’t have that either.”

“And why’s that?”

Mao Mao scoffed. “Because, what kind of legendary hero doesn’t have a legendary villain to fight?”

“Y-you mean,” Orangusnake looked down at the Sheriff, a rarely-felt warmth budding from within, “Are we-”

Mao Mao nodded his head. “We’re rivals, Orangusnake. And that means I need you to be able to challenge me on a regular basis. The monsters are just a warm-up. I need you to keep me on my toes.”

“I don’t… I don’t know what to say. This is all so sudden!” Orangusnake blushed, putting his axe away.

“Does that mean we’re gonna get some victuals ‘fore sundown?” Hosstrich spoke up.

“I don’t see why not,” Mao Mao shrugged, “come by the base and we’ll make you guys something to eat.”

“Aw man,” Badgerclops groaned, “I’m gonna have to go grocery shopping again. We don’t have enough stuff at home to feed us  _ and _ the Sky Pirates.”

“Even better,” Mao Mao snapped his fingers, “Once we get back to base, they can give us a shopping list of their own, and we can get food for both them and us.”

Hosstrich bowed, taking his hat off. “You do us a great kindness, sir.”

“Does that mean it’s lunch time?” Adorabat asked.

“You bet - let’s get outta here and wash up.” Mao Mao said.

“Alright, sweet! Let’s get some lunch!” Ratarang called out, clamoring out of the pile.

“Badgerclops,” Mao Mao muttered to his deputy from the corner of his mouth, “don’t let them inside before you spray them with the garden hose.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
